Some Dreams Change

I think this is record breaking... 4 blog posts in one day! Either I am on a role or have finally learned to master the balance between being a geographical single parent, homemaker and ME.

Reflecting

I came across an article tonight as I was reading the news that hit close. Perhaps someone else would read this article and think nothing more of it than another byproduct of sequestration and the evolution of our military, but it was more personal to me. It caused me to reflect on who I was just a few short years ago, and like many stay at home moms do, I thought just how different my life would be if I never married or had children.

Me at an air show in California  (1990 - 5 years old)

 

That Was Once Me

The article was about the ending era of the US Air Force's close air support twin engine jet aircraft... The A-10. So why is this so personal to me? Well this isn't just any air craft. It was once my dream. Not too long ago, I was a slimmer, more athletic, more opportunistic Tara. I was going to be an officer in the US Air Force.

Most people in the community I am apart of know me as Rob's wife. Robby's mom. The girl with the house that always smells great. They know that Rob and I have known eachother since we were 13, and the Rob had his heart set on me from early on. What a lot of people don't know is that I wasn't always with Rob. In fact, I didn't think my perfect life plan included him at all. I was on the fast track to becoming something worth while. Something worth accomplishing. Something I knew I was good at. I was in AFROTC at the University of Central Florida with hopes to obtain that coveted rated pilot slot and to fly an air craft that I saw as a means for me to get as close to the front lines and into the fight as possible. I wanted to fly the A-10.

My time in ROTC was anything but easy. I ran into wall after wall with trying to obtain medical waivers, waivers for me to be on a 2 year program, to get into Field Training without being contracted (due to pending medical waivers). Each obstacle I hit just made me that more determined and made me want it that much more. After my first year, I won my slot to Field Training after being told I wouldn't get one because I was not contracted. I pushed through and left FT as a distinguished graduate and an invitation to return as a CTA (Cadet Training Assistant) the following year. Upon returning to my detachment I was complemented with the position of squadron commander. I would wake up every other day at 4am, drive to my detachment 60 minutes away for PT and LeadLab and for my required classes before driving back home for my full time job. In my free time, I worked hard to increase my PCSM score. I would compete to receive free flight hours in the 172 and would be as involved as much as I could in our wing. Even writing this now, I feel like I am writing about someone else. But this was once me.

Getting some free flight time (2008)

Graduation of Field Training(2009)

Posing with a fellow DG at the completion of FT. We were given "butter bars" to wear inside our cover until commissioning (2009)

Flying in a KC-135(2009)

 

I Let Go of Something Good

I left ROTC at a pinnacle time. I was about to finally be contracted. I was about to commission. I started my masters degree. While all those things were steps to obtaining my dream of flying, and flying the A-10 at that, I let them go.

In 2009 I began my first semester as an undeclared graduate student. I had graduated in the middle of my 2 year program in ROTC and I had to remain a full time student until I commissioned and completed ROTC. I was getting a head start on something valuable as an officer, that was until October 1, 2009. A dear friend from high school was killed in action while serving a 5th tour overseas. Sgt Robert Sanchez was an Army Ranger and a dear friend of mine who I would talk to on a weekly to monthly basis. He was someone who inspired me to, yes, be all I could be. He didn't talk much about himself, but offered great advice to help me along my way, and that advice came from a place of wisdom only a solider with his experience would have. He was the one person who would tell me personal experiences of how the A-10 was mission essential, and perhaps that is why I was attracted to that aircraft. Coping with his death was hard. It wasn't the first time I had lost a friend, sadly, but it was hard because it put a reality on just how dangerous it is serving in the military.

My now husband, Rob, and I had just rekindled our flame and began dating long distance since June. He was a new pilot student in Kingsville, Texas and we were crazy about each other. Rob was very supportive of my career path, but we tried not to talk about our future, as what future would we have if he was to be a Navy pilot and I an Air Force pilot. After Rob Sanchez's death, I forced myself to think about our future. One of the last conversations I had with Rob Sanchez before his deployment was at my parents house. He had only come over to return something I left in his car, but stayed for a while. You see, my parents were home and my sister had brought her then 4 and 1 year olds there. It was family time and it was something that Rob never got enough of. Rob sat on the bar stool and looked around and said he wanted 'this'. He was referring to being home with family. We know that Rob never got to come home to that, but as someone who wasn't contracted yet and had my degree, I wasn't obligated to any certain path like Rob Sanchez was when he deployed. I was in love and knew that I had to let go of something good if I wanted something better.

In 2009, I left ROTC. I lost some close friends who just didn't understand why I would give everything up to move to Kingville with my then boyfriend, but I knew I wanted what Rob Sanchez had wanted. I wanted to be home, I wanted something that I couldn't have if I committed myself to service. I am lucky to say that I am writing this blog from home today. I let go of something good, and I found something so much more than I could have ever dreamed.

The End of an Era

Reading the article of the A-10 brought back some great memories of a time when I was dead set on on a dream. But as the A-10 has finally reached its final days, I had reached beyond what being an Air Force pilot could offer. I ended my time as Cadet Miner and started the biggest adventure of my life. An adventure that no A-10 could offer me. I am happily married to my best friend, yes a Navy pilot, and a mother to an incredible son that we have been blessed with. The article may read an end of an era, but to me it helps bring me to the realization that my adventure is the greatest one of all and it has just begun.

At an AFA Convention along side my then, Detachment Commander, Colonel Palmby (2009)

AFA Convention (2009)

JSTARS Sim at Warner Robbins AFB (2009)

Stopping to take a picture with the A-10 at the Air Museum at Warner Robbins (2009)

Wearing my new C/Capt ranks on my first day as POC (2009)

Posing with my DG plaque at the airport for mom and dad (2009)

Yep, I sure did have a lot going for me but look what I got instead...

VAW-120 Norfolk, Virginia (June 2012)

...winning!

Farewell, A-10. You had a good ride!

The 1/2 Way Point Fly In!

Half Way There

There are perks to being in a forward deployed squadron... one of them being that families live closer to where the boat pulls in for their port calls so it is easier to meet our spouses every few months during deployment and one of those port calls happen to be here (in Japan!). Whenever we near the half way mark of the year's deployment, we get to have a temporary homecoming. How cool is that?!

The Fly In

So before the ship pulls into port, most of the pilots get to fly off the boat and come straight to NAF Atsugi (home). We were so lucky and grateful that not only was Rob one of those pilots, he got to fly off even earlier. For now we will ignore the fact he only flew home early just to spend his "break" in the Point Mugu, California for training.

This was our first fly in for Rob, as last deployment he walked off the boat which was equally exciting! Robby and I arrived at the squadron along with a few other spouses and Auntie Amanda and Uncle Shreve (our family friends from college who also happen to be stationed here). Everyone was dressed up to greet their husbands and dads! Robby wore his aviator glasses along with his Mickey Mouse aviator overalls. I opted out of the traditional heels and dress and went for comfort... ever try running after a toddler in heels while trying to keep your dress from flying up on the tarmac? Yeah, not a pretty sight for this gal! Auntie Amanda and Shreve brought their camera and took some pictures while we waited to hear for Rob's plane up above. We were so grateful for their support and help in trying to capture those moments as we anticipated Dada's return. More often then not, a geographically single mom that is stationed overseas ends up on the other side of the lens.  So we were grateful for their help in capturing the moment.

We heard the humming of Rob's plane and everyone looked up and saw the mighty E2 headed straight for us. They did a beautiful break overhead and Robby was in awe. What little boy doesn't like airplanes!? After the break they came in for their final approach and within minutes, they pulled straight ahead of the squadron.

Rob coming in for the break

Robby could not take his eyes off the plane

"Hi, Dada!"

Reunited! (for now)

The moment that we heard the engines winding down and the props came to a stop, everyone clapped and the kids and wives revved their engines waiting for the door to pop open so they can run to their respective family members.

This was an especially special moment for us... it was the first time Robby would walk to Rob. He has seen Robby balance standing and barely take a step, but missed his progression to full on walking. This meant that we were a tad slower than the other spouses and kids, but once Robby saw Dada, he decided he could cover more ground by crawling. It was an absolutely priceless moment!

It is said that being a military spouse is juts about the hardest job out there, but I can certainly say that it comes with the greatest perks. Having a reunion like that rivals just about any romance novel or film.

Waiting to run to dada

"It's really you, Dada!"

Reunited!

A family together again :-)

Future aviator?

"Let's go home!"

Iwo Jima

A few month back, Rob had to start preparing for his current deployment. Preparing for deployment for a carrier based pilot means they are to start practicing landing on a boat. It sounds easy enough, but as the wife of a tail hooker, I would like to formally say that it ranks up there with being the most dangerous thing a person can do.

Imagine a boat moving along the ocean. Now picture trying to line up with the moving target with your aircraft. Still not hard enough? Imagine your moving runway was bouncing up and down (pitching) with each wave. You now have to account for those sudden moves in your aircraft. You have a very small space to land already, but I should state that this isn't a landing. It is a controlled crash. You have 3 wires on the carrier, 3 chances to stop your plane, that catch the tailhook located at the rear of the plane. When you land, you don't reduce speed. You "control crash" at full power so in the event you miss the wires or aren't lined up properly, you have enough speed for  you to take back off the end of the boat. This is called carrier landings. It is done during the day and at night with zero visibility.

Landing on the boat is an art form that takes practice and if you haven't done a carrier landing in a number of weeks, it is time to go through carrier qualifications or "CQ". Even the best pilot needs a refresher and my husband is no exception. So when it is time to get ready for deployment and CQ, the squadron packs up and heads to Iwo Jima for field carrier landing procedures (FCLPs) to practice the type of landings that are required to land on the boat. FCLPs require a type of flying that is loud so it is mainly done in areas that have a permit for that particular flying or is in an area that is not populated. Many pilots refer to this as "bouncing" and if you have seen it you would know why. BOING! Carrier pilots based in Norfolk, Virginia head to Florida for FCLPs and because we live in Japan and that would be a long and expensive trip, Rob's squadron heads to arguably one of the most sacred islands in the Pacific.

VAW-115 Liberty Bells, Rob's squadron where he flies the E-2 Hawkeye, spends about a week on the island that is now called Iwo To. The Japanese meaning of the name is the same as Iwo Jima, but Iwo Jima is not really known for it being a sulfer and volcanic island. It is known for being the grounds of the bloodiest battle ever.

Visiting Iwo Jima had very special meaning to our family. If Japan allowed people to visit the island, Robby and I would have joined Rob on the trip, but due to the importance it holds, Japan limits the island to only US and Japanese military personnel, and even still the island is barren. On rare occasions, living decendents of those who fought in the battle of Iwo Jima are allowed to visit for one day. Rob took several pictures and videos of his trip and also brought home sand from Invasion Beach.

There aren't many words to describe how this trip is both exhilerating and humbling for Rob, so I made a video shortly after his trip to document Rob's FCLPs in Iwo Jima.