Deployment #2

The "D" word

The bags that have haunted our house

 

After weeks of him leaving "any day", the time has finally come for Rob to deploy. As much as our family knows it is coming, prepares for it and even being assigned in a forward deployed location (meaning we are on call 24/7 for our tour here), I am struggling to find the strength to say good bye. It won't be forever, in fact we are blessed to be in this assignment where they deploy so frequently and so often, that their deployments are rarely extended. We are fortunate to have the opportunity to even try to meet Rob in ports that the boat pulls in (granted the boat does as planned, which is another story). The time has come for Rob to deploy, and being a "dependent", I have no choice but to accept this. Being a military spouse doesn't make me super woman. It doesn't make me hold special powers or have hold immense strength to go through this. I'm human and like every one else, and I struggle to adjust to this life. 

With the last painful move to Japan (without Rob) after the birth of Robby still a fresh wound, I am scared. I know how hard it can be to be stuck in a hard place and a rock with nothing to do but cry out for a miracle. Then Rob reminds me that I did do it then, and I will be even better the next time around. It is that type of motivating support that I'll miss when Rob leaves and I'll look forward to when he returns. I'm grateful that this go-round for Rob's second deployment isn't in the middle of a move to a different country. I don't have to struggle with nursing a hungry newborn, while towing luggage for my deployed husband, my growing son, myself and my two dogs, while also hauling Rocky and Ranger in their crates. I have an amazing network of spouses who would drop what they are doing and help me, as I would for them. The "D" word is less scary, when I am surrounded not only by my fellow squadron spouses, but an entire air wing who knows just how I feel. 

I am a seasoned "dependent" and mother now. I'll probably find myself in the same situations I found my self in during the first deployment, but I will have the confidence to know that it is all normal what I feel. I'm weak enough to cry and breakdown, and I am strong enough to admit that it is ok.

I am unable to share where Rob is going, how long he will be gone and when he will return because the only means of communicating with family is through means that would violate "OPSEC". So while I wish I could reach out to friends and family for motivation and reassurance of how long we have left of this deployment, I can only find that support within our base. Being overseas, far from home and family, during deployment can be a challenge... it is a challenge, but I am blessed with our adventurous life and a son who occupies my time, and the months will fly by.

The ship is underway and Rob will CQ (carrier qualifications) until the boat is far enough that he can't fly home for the night. We start saying our goodbyes tomorrow and will continue each day he goes to work until the night he doesn't come home. Deployment in a forward deployed squadron sucks, but life can't get any more romantic than living each day as if he deploys tomorrow. 

Fair winds and calm seas, USS George Washington.

Fly safe, Carrier Air Wing 5.

Rob, always make sure the number of take offs you have, equal the number of landing you make.